Cover Story
Nick Offerman
Beyond the Swanson
By Shane Ryan
Scene: A woman enters a government office, intent on filing a complaint about a local park. The charge is absurd—there was a sign advising citizens not to drink the water coming from a sprinkler, so the woman made tea with it and now claims to have an infection. The man she addresses sits at a bizarre circular desk, with no way to escape the bagel hole in the middle. He’s bearish and gruff, with a thick, dark mustache, and he hates the fact that the city manager has forced him into this modernist furniture contraption. There’s only one way for him to escape, and that’s to make use of the swivel chair. While the...